Who is your community?
Brené Brown called these people the square squad. You can call them your people, your community, you can call them whatever you like. But….
Do they lift you; do you lift them? Or are they just there? When do you call on them or share with them?
We did a great exercise in class to gain some clarity on our ‘community’. To know what areas need strengthening and where to cut the deadfall. The broken branches, the broken relationships, and clear the clutter. If we can remove the energy drains, then we can spend our energy and time on the ones that lift us. I don’t mean that in a selfish, narcissistic fashion. But in the: soul was lifted, the cup was filled and now I am recharged and can follow through on what I want/should do next way. You know what people I am describing. These are the ones we want more time with; we need to spend more time with. It was a great exercise that made for many coachable sessions, on how to remove the roadblocks to change and improve our relationships with others in our community and with ourselves. I do think that it relates to Stephan R. Coveys Habit 7 where we are increasing our motivation and energy and work-life balance. This is also freeing for the others in our lives, maybe we are the energy-draining obligation, we suck their soul when they trudge to our house to spend time with us. It goes both ways this ‘obligation’.
We can also look at how this could give clarity to our work relationships and work teams. If we are not looking for win-win, working with or for, or employing people who are not working towards win-win, this is a huge drain on our time, resources, reputation, and money. Are the people in your business and your work teams in the right seats (position), are they on the right bus (company)? This is a concept from Eos Business Structure created by Gino Wickman and Tom Bower. If they aren’t in the right seat (position) they aren’t at their potential or energized by it. If it’s the wrong bus (business) they are bringing the team down. That doesn’t mean they aren’t good people, just not the right fit. Unfortunately, everyone can think of someone they have worked with that this describes. This also applies to making sure things are mutually beneficial and a good business ethic for ensuring repeat customers.
So let us do this exercise! Grab your paper and pen and start filling in names besides the teams,
The “A” Team: the people closest to us who we trust without reservation or judgment
The “B” Team: the people who you care about, near and dear, not 100% trust, bring joy, elements of cost
The “C” Team: the people who you may not know well yet, acquaintances, enjoy, small upsets, costs so much energy to be w them
The “D” Team: the people who have poor or hurtful behavior, there is a disconnect, all taking, no giving, toxic
See what I mean about many coachable discussion questions! And the roadblocks are not as impossible as they initially feel. If we can remove the barriers to change and improve our commitment to ourselves and our community, or our business and work teams what is the potential for momentum and growth?
Which team do you spend more of your time with?
Is there a way to strengthen any of the Teams?
Where do we see ourselves in our business and our work teams?
What are we going to do differently now with this knowledge?
A coach is a great resource to have this discussion with as they provide a judgment-free sounding board to you, the coachee. The coach assists you with the development and strategizing of solutions that you prioritize. A coach is there to serve you, the only thing a coach brings is curiosity. There are no judgments, opinions, or expectations, and the sessions are bound by strict confidentiality. A coach is not a therapist, psychologist, or other mental health professional. The coach is for guiding and supporting you to make your ideal visioned future a reality. Energy is infinite, time is finite. Why spend our time where it doesn’t create energy, motivation, and momentum.
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